Some people may say that I shouldn't be blogging about this. Some may say that it could put hubby at risk of intimidation or retaliation by the prison guards or administration. So let me start by saying two things very clearly:
1. Hubby has no intention of taking part in the planned inmate strike on 9 September 2016, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have an opinion on it or discuss it.
2. Intimidation and retaliation are just other words for bullying, and if there is one thing I detest more than people touching things that don't belong to them, it's bullies. They only have power if you let them, and by not talking about something like this, you give them power.
OK, now that's out of the way, lets get to the subject at hand: the proposed inmate strike on 9 September. This is a follow-up, and in some cases, ongoing action, from the April strikes that took place in at least 5 TDCJ prisons and several others across America. The reasons for the protest and action are many - when you have around 2 million people affected directly by something, you are unlikely to get a single number one issue. But Texas is unusual in that it does not pay its inmates any money at all for the work that they are obliged to do (don't turn up for your work detail in TDCJ, you'll catch a case and further punishment which can include being placed in Ad Seg, loss of other 'priviledges' such as the already limited recreation time, etc).
Now I do get the argument put forward by many in Texas that inmates get a number of things 'for free' while in prison that they would have to pay for in the freeworld. These include food, a roof over their head, a bed, clothes, running water (from the walls if not from a tap, and you probably wouldn't want to drink it anyway given the levels of arsenic in some areas). I also get that these are people who have been found guilty or plead guilty (two things that do not necessarily mean a person IS guilty by the way) and are in prison as punishment. But just as TDCJ is fast becoming the dumping ground for mentally ill individuals, the Texas public and lawmakers have a somewhat schizophrenic relationship with prisons and inmates (and their families).
First, there is absolutely no such thing as a free anything in Texas (or anywhere else). Just because the inmate does not pay directly in cash for the food, bed, roof, clothes, etc, doesn't make it free. Either the family pay by sending money that is then used to cover some of the medical costs or communication costs or food and other items from the commissary, or EVERYONE ELSE in Texas who pays taxes is paying for it all. And for many, that includes the inmate right up to the day they find themselves in jail.
In a state so adverse to paying personal income tax or any other kind of tax, doesn't it strike you as odd that very few Texans question the amount of their tax that contributes to the monster machine that is TDCJ with it's more than 100 prisons and around 140,000 inmates?
If TDCJ paid a dollar an hour - dammit, even a dollar a day - to inmates who worked, then the $100 annual medical charge (inmates who are indigent are not denied medical attention - I wont call it 'care') would be a little easier to swallow, because it would indeed be coming from the inmate's own funds. But given that inmates do not get paid, it is not the inmate who then pays for the medical charge: it's the friends and family of the inmate who are already paying through their taxes, and are then being told that they will pay TWICE through the money they send the inmate.
It's not just the money, or lack of, that is an issue in Texas. The convoluted and downright deliberate lack of will to assign many inmates any credit or 'good time' if they do behave themselves, is clogging up the system. It is causing (along with the dysfunctional BPP system) inmates to remain in prison long after they make that mind shift from reprobate to remorseful and wanting to give something back to society. The inability of the system to see beyond a crime to the inmate, to measure that inmate against them self rather than against an outdated perception of what an inmate should be, or to see prison as an undesirable millstone around the neck of a community has lead to certain parties within TDCJ and the TX legislature working tirelessly to keep as many inmates in prison as possible just to keep the prison machine going as it is.
Given the size of TDCJ, one possible reason for not paying inmates to work could be that there simply would not be enough 'jobs' to go round. It almost certainly suits some sections of the administration that so many TDCJ inmates are excused work because of 'medical' reasons - when these individuals could easily take part in computer-based occupations (no, not the Internet or unrestricted email), building and repairs, modern farming (rather than the plantation slavery that has men weeding fields on their knees with their hands in the TX summer) and any number of other things that would.... oh, I remember, we don't want the prison population to fall too low do we, otherwise some good ol' boys might have to be let go. Better to keep those inmates in prison until they are too old or sick to contribute as much as they would like to society, so that if by some miracle they do get paroled, it will only be a matter of time before they roll back through the picket gate again.
So will the planned strike change anything?
In short, no I don't think it will - beyond making life even more uncomfortable for any inmates not only involved, but also just in the same prisons as the action-takers. I understand the need to feel in control of ones destiny and to rise up against tyranny, but I really don't think this kind of action will achieve that.
What might go some way to achieving it is for the friends and families of the inmates to stop taking this laying down. Stop taking on the shame of your inmate's crime - let the inmate carry that, and walk in liberation with your head up to that polling booth and vote out the people who are standing in the way of change. Stand for local government yourself, then state government. TALK about this with people, don't let the bullies think they can do what they like and get away with it. Educate yourself, learn the law and use it, start blogs, newspapers, radio shows, join the TIFA, become active. Don't do your inmate's time for them, use the time to make the situation fairer for all now and all who come after. It can be done, you only have to look outside of the US to see that penal systems do not have to be run along the same lines as gulags.
Showing posts with label Prisoner's wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prisoner's wife. Show all posts
Saturday, 20 August 2016
Saturday, 15 August 2015
Burning the midnight oil
The quilt I have been making for my daughter is finally finished! It has taken around £80 of fabric and a good 9 months of stitching (on average around 10 hours a week), and on Friday night I was so determined to take it to her yesterday that I stitched from 6.30pm until almost midnight. But it is done and she is very happy with it, and I am very happy that it will no longer be cluttering up my work room.
Now I intend to move on to smaller projects that will use up some of my yarn stash. Luckily my friend is pregnant again, so I have a good excuse to be working on baby items! My first project is a toddler hat with a small cable detail:
I will be adding a smaller version for a 0-6 month old to the pattern and then it will be available to download through Payhip - this is the digital download service that is commonly used for self-published e-books but it works really well for craft patterns as well. Keep checking my Hare's Moon Patterns page on the right. I also have ideas for bibs and jackets to work on this autumn.
Things on the prison front are very quiet at the moment, which is a good thing. Unlike many other couples where one is incarcerated, we don't have much of the drama that can accompany this situation. It is almost certainly because we are older, and less worried about what other people are doing. But as we approach 11 years down, my husband is starting to put together a plan for things he needs to do in the next 9 years to put himself in the best position possible when he gets a chance of parole. Why start so early? Because laws do change, as do attitudes, and being an older inmate it is not beyond the realms of possibility that he may have a parole chance a little earlier than we current expect. Waiting until the last minute has always been my husband's way, so it's good to see him making a change in that area.
Now I intend to move on to smaller projects that will use up some of my yarn stash. Luckily my friend is pregnant again, so I have a good excuse to be working on baby items! My first project is a toddler hat with a small cable detail:
I will be adding a smaller version for a 0-6 month old to the pattern and then it will be available to download through Payhip - this is the digital download service that is commonly used for self-published e-books but it works really well for craft patterns as well. Keep checking my Hare's Moon Patterns page on the right. I also have ideas for bibs and jackets to work on this autumn.
Things on the prison front are very quiet at the moment, which is a good thing. Unlike many other couples where one is incarcerated, we don't have much of the drama that can accompany this situation. It is almost certainly because we are older, and less worried about what other people are doing. But as we approach 11 years down, my husband is starting to put together a plan for things he needs to do in the next 9 years to put himself in the best position possible when he gets a chance of parole. Why start so early? Because laws do change, as do attitudes, and being an older inmate it is not beyond the realms of possibility that he may have a parole chance a little earlier than we current expect. Waiting until the last minute has always been my husband's way, so it's good to see him making a change in that area.
Wednesday, 8 April 2015
Small but welcome changes
Back from my latest marathon slog across the pond to visit my husband. A weekend in Texas is really enough for anyone, but he's worth it. This time I picked up a stinking cold on the way over and then added to it with around 10 mosquito bites from spending just 20 minutes in my friend's garden on Friday. I react badly to them, but thankfully none were on my face this time!
It being the Easter weekend, I had hoped that the visit room would be quiet and I was right. Saturday there were still 3 or 4 empty tables when I left, and on Sunday there was barely half the room full. That was good because we didn't have to raise our voices to be heard, and the guards were in a relaxed mood as well - probably because they were not rushed off their feet. Talking of feet, I was complimented on my socks by the guards who were doing the body searches. Pity I couldn't give them one of my business cards though as we're not allowed to take anything like that in with us.
A good addition to the visit room were colouring sets (a sheet of paper with a black and white drawing on and a few crayons) and a small book case for the kids to use. In 10 years I've never seen that provided by TDCJ, and it was great to see it there this weekend. And it's not just for kids; there was a young man with Downs Syndrome there on Saturday and he happily took a colouring set back to their table. That was lovely to see.
I felt a little bad that my husband was missing pork chops for his lunch. One of the other visitors was waiting on the table next to us for the inmate to come through, and after a while the guard came over and said that the inmate had already gone to lunch then the visit call went through, and that as it was pork chops they didn't want to make him leave the chow hall so he would be a little longer in arriving. That was nice that the guards let the visitors know - and that the guy got to eat his lunch first!
We had a good talk on both days. We had nothing that needed sorting out between us, but things that have happened in the family recently took up a bit of our time. That's OK though, as it's so much easier to do that in real time than via letters that still take on average 10 days to get to their destination.
Perhaps in a few more years TDCJ will have taken another step towards the modern age and will permit inmates to have tablets and perhaps video visits. Other states manage it without any security issues.
It being the Easter weekend, I had hoped that the visit room would be quiet and I was right. Saturday there were still 3 or 4 empty tables when I left, and on Sunday there was barely half the room full. That was good because we didn't have to raise our voices to be heard, and the guards were in a relaxed mood as well - probably because they were not rushed off their feet. Talking of feet, I was complimented on my socks by the guards who were doing the body searches. Pity I couldn't give them one of my business cards though as we're not allowed to take anything like that in with us.
A good addition to the visit room were colouring sets (a sheet of paper with a black and white drawing on and a few crayons) and a small book case for the kids to use. In 10 years I've never seen that provided by TDCJ, and it was great to see it there this weekend. And it's not just for kids; there was a young man with Downs Syndrome there on Saturday and he happily took a colouring set back to their table. That was lovely to see.
I felt a little bad that my husband was missing pork chops for his lunch. One of the other visitors was waiting on the table next to us for the inmate to come through, and after a while the guard came over and said that the inmate had already gone to lunch then the visit call went through, and that as it was pork chops they didn't want to make him leave the chow hall so he would be a little longer in arriving. That was nice that the guards let the visitors know - and that the guy got to eat his lunch first!
We had a good talk on both days. We had nothing that needed sorting out between us, but things that have happened in the family recently took up a bit of our time. That's OK though, as it's so much easier to do that in real time than via letters that still take on average 10 days to get to their destination.
Perhaps in a few more years TDCJ will have taken another step towards the modern age and will permit inmates to have tablets and perhaps video visits. Other states manage it without any security issues.
Sunday, 8 March 2015
Thank you to the Royal Mail
As you might imagine, I have a love-hate relationship with the Royal Mail (and USPS, but this post isn't about them). I spend monthly on stamps what most people spend on their mobile phone contract, and some months it feels like I'm literally paying my postman's wages.
On 30 March 2015, the Royal Mail are putting up the postage rates again. Nothing new there, it happens every year and I'm not against businesses making a profit. Except we know that the Royal Mail hardly makes a profit, if at all, and is slowly losing the battle with other mail carriers here in the UK. There has been talk of stopping Saturday deliveries, reducing deliveries to certain more remote areas of the UK, and the more obvious putting prices up by a lot more than they usually do. New postage rates pdf is HERE.
Many of you reading this might be struggling to remember the last time you actually sent something through the post. We all use texts and emails now, don't we? Well no, not all of us.
I have started buying greetings cards on Folksy, rather than on the high street. Generally they cost the same even when postage is included, and I like to support small businesses. One in particular is DaisyWings, run by a lady artist based in Berkshire who puts her gorgeous watercolour illustrations onto greetings cards. The Royal Mail get two hits out of this: one when the cards are sent to me, and another when I send them on to the recipient.
But in general, I use the Royal Mail to communicate with my husband and my penpals. Over the past 10 years I have sent on average 6 letters each week and the international letter rate has gone up steadily from around 60p to the new lowest rate of £1 for anything up to 10g (basically a postcard). There used to be a large table of prices and weights, but the Royal Mail have now simplified things wonderfully, and there are just 3 rates for international letters. The majority of mine will fit in the "up to 20g" rate, which will be £1.33 a time.
When you consider how many hands that letter will pass through, and the 4800 km journey it goes on between me and my husband, I think £1.33 is still a pretty good deal. So well done and thank you Royal Mail, for getting the vast majority of our letters across the pond safely.
On 30 March 2015, the Royal Mail are putting up the postage rates again. Nothing new there, it happens every year and I'm not against businesses making a profit. Except we know that the Royal Mail hardly makes a profit, if at all, and is slowly losing the battle with other mail carriers here in the UK. There has been talk of stopping Saturday deliveries, reducing deliveries to certain more remote areas of the UK, and the more obvious putting prices up by a lot more than they usually do. New postage rates pdf is HERE.
Many of you reading this might be struggling to remember the last time you actually sent something through the post. We all use texts and emails now, don't we? Well no, not all of us.
I have started buying greetings cards on Folksy, rather than on the high street. Generally they cost the same even when postage is included, and I like to support small businesses. One in particular is DaisyWings, run by a lady artist based in Berkshire who puts her gorgeous watercolour illustrations onto greetings cards. The Royal Mail get two hits out of this: one when the cards are sent to me, and another when I send them on to the recipient.
But in general, I use the Royal Mail to communicate with my husband and my penpals. Over the past 10 years I have sent on average 6 letters each week and the international letter rate has gone up steadily from around 60p to the new lowest rate of £1 for anything up to 10g (basically a postcard). There used to be a large table of prices and weights, but the Royal Mail have now simplified things wonderfully, and there are just 3 rates for international letters. The majority of mine will fit in the "up to 20g" rate, which will be £1.33 a time.
When you consider how many hands that letter will pass through, and the 4800 km journey it goes on between me and my husband, I think £1.33 is still a pretty good deal. So well done and thank you Royal Mail, for getting the vast majority of our letters across the pond safely.
Monday, 9 February 2015
Sad? No way!
(or How To Make Your Birthday Last A Week).
Yes, it's my birthday this week, and as usual I have taken the week off work. Why anyone would want to work on their birthday is beyond me; it's the first date I book for leave every year and I have no intention of working on my birthday ever. So there!
I have had a couple of comments recently, from well-meaning friends and colleagues, along the lines of, "It must be hard when your husband can't celebrate your birthday with you". Isn't it odd how people make assumptions? Of all the 365 days in each year, birthdays are no more or less hard than any other day. Him not being here (or being there) is just how it's always been for us.
To me, birthdays are more important than other national or religious holidays. In our family they have always been the day when the birthday person gets to choose what to have for tea, and what to watch on telly. We also tend to spin our birthdays out too, covering as many days as possible. In previous years I've been to gigs, exhibitions and on general adventures in the days before and after my birthday. If week-long celebrations were good enough for the Romans....
My husband is very good at getting his cards to arrive before the actual day. I have no idea how he manages it, given the number of different hands our mail passes through and the inevitable delays and disappearances. My birthday envelope arrived at the end of last week, and I have been very good and not opened it yet.
Of course most people associate birthday with presents. I get enough from my friends and other family, I'm not in need of anything more from my husband. If the giving of gifts was a requirement of mine for a successful relationship, I really shouldn't have married him! And at least this way, I don't have to share my chocolates, or worry that the flowers I treated myself to this afternoon will bring on his allergies.
We are focused on our next visit now in a few weeks, so this week is more a time to get practical stuff like dental appointments and boiler servicing done than being too extravagant. I am visiting Oxford later this week with my daughter and we are going to the William Blake exhibition at the Ashmolean, and for burgers at Atomic Burger down the Cowley Road.
I have no need to ask for more.
Yes, it's my birthday this week, and as usual I have taken the week off work. Why anyone would want to work on their birthday is beyond me; it's the first date I book for leave every year and I have no intention of working on my birthday ever. So there!
I have had a couple of comments recently, from well-meaning friends and colleagues, along the lines of, "It must be hard when your husband can't celebrate your birthday with you". Isn't it odd how people make assumptions? Of all the 365 days in each year, birthdays are no more or less hard than any other day. Him not being here (or being there) is just how it's always been for us.
To me, birthdays are more important than other national or religious holidays. In our family they have always been the day when the birthday person gets to choose what to have for tea, and what to watch on telly. We also tend to spin our birthdays out too, covering as many days as possible. In previous years I've been to gigs, exhibitions and on general adventures in the days before and after my birthday. If week-long celebrations were good enough for the Romans....
My husband is very good at getting his cards to arrive before the actual day. I have no idea how he manages it, given the number of different hands our mail passes through and the inevitable delays and disappearances. My birthday envelope arrived at the end of last week, and I have been very good and not opened it yet.
Of course most people associate birthday with presents. I get enough from my friends and other family, I'm not in need of anything more from my husband. If the giving of gifts was a requirement of mine for a successful relationship, I really shouldn't have married him! And at least this way, I don't have to share my chocolates, or worry that the flowers I treated myself to this afternoon will bring on his allergies.
We are focused on our next visit now in a few weeks, so this week is more a time to get practical stuff like dental appointments and boiler servicing done than being too extravagant. I am visiting Oxford later this week with my daughter and we are going to the William Blake exhibition at the Ashmolean, and for burgers at Atomic Burger down the Cowley Road.
I have no need to ask for more.
Saturday, 31 January 2015
Elderly, cold, hungry and alone
There is an elderly chap, we'll call him Joe, who spends most of his days in a small room. Like many others of his generation, Joe has outlived his parents, siblings and even some younger members of his extended family. Friends drifted away many years ago.
Joe tries to make ends meet by being creative. He has a little enterprise where he makes twine from scraps that other people discard, and the twine is useful to occasional interested parties. But making the twine is getting harder as Joe's fingers are developing arthritis, and his eye sight isn't what it used to be. Joe doesn't complain; no one would listen if he did and he prefers to keep himself to himself these days.
Getting up at 3am every day for breakfast is getting harder, especially in the winter. The thermal underwear he was given a few years ago by someone passing through is full of holes but it is still one of his prized possessions. But Joe dare not stay in bed and miss a meal - he doesn't have the means of making a snack to keep him going until the next meal time rolls around, whenever that might be. After breakfast, Joe sits by the window looking out at the sleet falling from a grey sky not too dissimilar from the walls surrounding him. He wonders how many more winters he will see, and whether any will be from the other side of the glass and grey walls. What will happen if his sight goes completely? Will they move him away from his familiar surroundings that he can navigate now if he needed to, to somewhere "more suitable" but completely unfamiliar?
You out there reading this, are you thinking "there are charities who can help Joe"? Unfortunately, Joe is just one of thousands of inmates in America's prisons serving a long sentence with little to no chance of parole. Joe's crime was committed decades ago, when he by his own admissions was "young and stupid". No one got killed, but criminals had to be made examples of. Even if Joe was able to apply for parole, he would not meet the requirements of having a stable address and prospects of employment to parole out to. He is in a catch 22 situation that is only partly of his own making.
This is not a European stereotypical call for all inmates to be released. Some of us over here are more sensible than that, and clearly there are some inmates who continue to pose a threat to themselves or others regardless of their mental or physical age. But they are not the majority.
TDCJ is one of the few corrections agencies that have an official age designation for "geriatric inmates". You may find it hard to believe that it is the age of 55. Prison can preserve a body or accelerate its demise. TDCJ recommend around 450 inmates for early medical parole every year, and yet fewer than 1/8 of those inmates are approved by the Board or Pardons and Paroles (BPP). The BPP believe that it is better to keep these individuals inside a prison and have the tax payer fund their increasing medical bills, rather than release them into a community where the remaining friends, family and social support networks are often willing and able to help.
My husband knows a number of Joes in his prison. We help where we can, but the system discourages inmates from sharing, selling or giving away physical items. My husband officially became a geriatric inmate himself recently and we have another 10 years to hang on before we get to ride the parole roller coaster. In a country that prides itself on opportunity, there is a large pool of unproductive but willing labour at the country's disposal. Imagine, instead of 2 million inmates sucking the life out of the country's finances, what if there were even 1 million less of them and 1 million more contributing to the economy even in a small way and paying some of their own medical bills. Maybe not the land of the free, but more the land of the hard working repentants?
Joe tries to make ends meet by being creative. He has a little enterprise where he makes twine from scraps that other people discard, and the twine is useful to occasional interested parties. But making the twine is getting harder as Joe's fingers are developing arthritis, and his eye sight isn't what it used to be. Joe doesn't complain; no one would listen if he did and he prefers to keep himself to himself these days.
Getting up at 3am every day for breakfast is getting harder, especially in the winter. The thermal underwear he was given a few years ago by someone passing through is full of holes but it is still one of his prized possessions. But Joe dare not stay in bed and miss a meal - he doesn't have the means of making a snack to keep him going until the next meal time rolls around, whenever that might be. After breakfast, Joe sits by the window looking out at the sleet falling from a grey sky not too dissimilar from the walls surrounding him. He wonders how many more winters he will see, and whether any will be from the other side of the glass and grey walls. What will happen if his sight goes completely? Will they move him away from his familiar surroundings that he can navigate now if he needed to, to somewhere "more suitable" but completely unfamiliar?
You out there reading this, are you thinking "there are charities who can help Joe"? Unfortunately, Joe is just one of thousands of inmates in America's prisons serving a long sentence with little to no chance of parole. Joe's crime was committed decades ago, when he by his own admissions was "young and stupid". No one got killed, but criminals had to be made examples of. Even if Joe was able to apply for parole, he would not meet the requirements of having a stable address and prospects of employment to parole out to. He is in a catch 22 situation that is only partly of his own making.
This is not a European stereotypical call for all inmates to be released. Some of us over here are more sensible than that, and clearly there are some inmates who continue to pose a threat to themselves or others regardless of their mental or physical age. But they are not the majority.
TDCJ is one of the few corrections agencies that have an official age designation for "geriatric inmates". You may find it hard to believe that it is the age of 55. Prison can preserve a body or accelerate its demise. TDCJ recommend around 450 inmates for early medical parole every year, and yet fewer than 1/8 of those inmates are approved by the Board or Pardons and Paroles (BPP). The BPP believe that it is better to keep these individuals inside a prison and have the tax payer fund their increasing medical bills, rather than release them into a community where the remaining friends, family and social support networks are often willing and able to help.
My husband knows a number of Joes in his prison. We help where we can, but the system discourages inmates from sharing, selling or giving away physical items. My husband officially became a geriatric inmate himself recently and we have another 10 years to hang on before we get to ride the parole roller coaster. In a country that prides itself on opportunity, there is a large pool of unproductive but willing labour at the country's disposal. Imagine, instead of 2 million inmates sucking the life out of the country's finances, what if there were even 1 million less of them and 1 million more contributing to the economy even in a small way and paying some of their own medical bills. Maybe not the land of the free, but more the land of the hard working repentants?
Sunday, 4 January 2015
Onwards
At this time of year, many people look back over the past 12 months and dissect their trials and tribulations. I find that a little depressing, even for the happy times, because they have gone and you can't get them back. So I prefer to look forwards, do a bit of planning (in the face of the Gods, just to see if they are taking any notice) and work out where I'd like to be in 12 months or so from now.
The recent VAT debacle has made me revise my original plans for developing the knitting patterns I've been working on. This has been a good thing, though I'd rather it hadn't been dropped on me at a moment's notice. But, carpe diem and all that jazz. I may not be as prolific as some designers out there, but I think I can contribute something to the global pattern library, so I will be working on those this year.
I'll still be spinning of course, and I have some more grey Gotland fleece on order. It's all part of the bigger picture really; I want to spin so I have yarn to create designs with, for myself and my family. I do also have a large stash of assorted yarns that I need to work with before buying any more... but any knitter out there will know how likely that is! 2015 is the Chinese year of the Sheep (goat/ram/etc) so I'm hoping to pick up some of the fleecy vibes.
I'll be seeing my husband again this spring, which is usually the main event in my year. I'm contemplating requesting a weekday visit at the moment, as it would fit our plans better. They are at the Warden's discretion of course, but if you don't ask, you're unlikely to get.
Blogging more often is also on my To Do list. I'm not one to blog for the sake of it, you are unlikely to see "this is my breakfast" or "my cat just did this" posts, but I do want to aim for at least once a month this year.
I've been offered a new opportunity at my day job, a secondment for up to 2 years, so things will be changing there and hopefully for the better. I'm not allowing myself to get excited about it until I have more details, but it has come at the right time for me. I've been doing my current job for just over 9 years now and things have changed a lot in that time.
There will be a bit of travel around the UK for my family history investigations. We have a castle in Durham ... well, we did, a few centuries ago, and it's now a mossy ruin, but I'd still like to go up and have a wander if I can. Plus there are still some bits of Berkshire that I need to get to and document properly.
So really 2015 will be more of the same, but hopefully bigger and better, and a little more lucrative!
The recent VAT debacle has made me revise my original plans for developing the knitting patterns I've been working on. This has been a good thing, though I'd rather it hadn't been dropped on me at a moment's notice. But, carpe diem and all that jazz. I may not be as prolific as some designers out there, but I think I can contribute something to the global pattern library, so I will be working on those this year.
I'll still be spinning of course, and I have some more grey Gotland fleece on order. It's all part of the bigger picture really; I want to spin so I have yarn to create designs with, for myself and my family. I do also have a large stash of assorted yarns that I need to work with before buying any more... but any knitter out there will know how likely that is! 2015 is the Chinese year of the Sheep (goat/ram/etc) so I'm hoping to pick up some of the fleecy vibes.
I'll be seeing my husband again this spring, which is usually the main event in my year. I'm contemplating requesting a weekday visit at the moment, as it would fit our plans better. They are at the Warden's discretion of course, but if you don't ask, you're unlikely to get.
Blogging more often is also on my To Do list. I'm not one to blog for the sake of it, you are unlikely to see "this is my breakfast" or "my cat just did this" posts, but I do want to aim for at least once a month this year.
I've been offered a new opportunity at my day job, a secondment for up to 2 years, so things will be changing there and hopefully for the better. I'm not allowing myself to get excited about it until I have more details, but it has come at the right time for me. I've been doing my current job for just over 9 years now and things have changed a lot in that time.
There will be a bit of travel around the UK for my family history investigations. We have a castle in Durham ... well, we did, a few centuries ago, and it's now a mossy ruin, but I'd still like to go up and have a wander if I can. Plus there are still some bits of Berkshire that I need to get to and document properly.
So really 2015 will be more of the same, but hopefully bigger and better, and a little more lucrative!
Sunday, 16 March 2014
Reality TV? Move along please, nothing to see here
From time to time, on some forums that I belong to that are concerned with inmates and their families, there are request from media production companies and journalists. These requests are usually looking for people who have "fallen for a felon" or "are in love with their inmate penpal". We even had one recently that was offering $500 to cover the "first date".
So-called reality TV is all the rage, though I really don't understand why. Could it be because the people watching have less interesting lives themselves? Or possibly that the people watching can feel smug in the assumption that their lives are in some way better? I think it's probably a bit of both, depending on the subject content.
But why would anyone want to watch a programme about a woman in love with an inmate? Be under no illusions, there really is no way to accurately depict this lifestyle in a sensitive way, and really that's not what the media companies want anyway. I can only think that any such programme would turn out like the "My Big Fat Gypsy" series. On one hand, it shows Irish traveller life in modern Britain, but on the other it holds those people up for ridicule with their fake tans, their gaudy bling and their attitudes to women. How would a programme on inmates and their partners on the outside be any different?
I recon anyone watching my life through a lens would be thinking either "sad cow" or yawning into their popcorn. My husband did a bad thing that got him to prison, but he's not a typical bad boy now he is in there. He is not in fights, is not in Ad Seg (Administrative Segregation in Texas, and often called the SHU or the Hole in other states, effectively a prison within a prison), and is not fighting to proclaim his innocence. He is also not a muscle man or covered in tattoos. I'm not on benefits, don't make my 27 kids go without just so I can visit him, and we don't spend hours on the phone every day using money I should be spending on utility bills. Regular readers of this blog will know that we don't get phone calls at all.
I also don't sit around wallowing in self-pity that my "one true love" is locked away on the other side of the ocean for at least another 10 years. It could not be said that I am "wasting my life" or putting it "on hold". When I'm not at work, I do a lot of crafts, socialise and travel. Sometimes I do these things by myself, and sometimes I do them with friends or family.
In fact, I dare say I am very much like thousands of other women in the UK and the rest of the world, who live by themselves and are getting on with life. I just happen to also be married to a man who is in prison in America.
So-called reality TV is all the rage, though I really don't understand why. Could it be because the people watching have less interesting lives themselves? Or possibly that the people watching can feel smug in the assumption that their lives are in some way better? I think it's probably a bit of both, depending on the subject content.
But why would anyone want to watch a programme about a woman in love with an inmate? Be under no illusions, there really is no way to accurately depict this lifestyle in a sensitive way, and really that's not what the media companies want anyway. I can only think that any such programme would turn out like the "My Big Fat Gypsy" series. On one hand, it shows Irish traveller life in modern Britain, but on the other it holds those people up for ridicule with their fake tans, their gaudy bling and their attitudes to women. How would a programme on inmates and their partners on the outside be any different?
I recon anyone watching my life through a lens would be thinking either "sad cow" or yawning into their popcorn. My husband did a bad thing that got him to prison, but he's not a typical bad boy now he is in there. He is not in fights, is not in Ad Seg (Administrative Segregation in Texas, and often called the SHU or the Hole in other states, effectively a prison within a prison), and is not fighting to proclaim his innocence. He is also not a muscle man or covered in tattoos. I'm not on benefits, don't make my 27 kids go without just so I can visit him, and we don't spend hours on the phone every day using money I should be spending on utility bills. Regular readers of this blog will know that we don't get phone calls at all.
I also don't sit around wallowing in self-pity that my "one true love" is locked away on the other side of the ocean for at least another 10 years. It could not be said that I am "wasting my life" or putting it "on hold". When I'm not at work, I do a lot of crafts, socialise and travel. Sometimes I do these things by myself, and sometimes I do them with friends or family.
In fact, I dare say I am very much like thousands of other women in the UK and the rest of the world, who live by themselves and are getting on with life. I just happen to also be married to a man who is in prison in America.
Sunday, 2 March 2014
Xenophobia
The dictionary defines xenophobia as follows:
"Intense or irrational dislike or fear of people from other countries:"
By chance this week I have learned of the changes that TDCJ have made to the procedures for visitation across all units effective from 1 March 2014. The full document can be found here TDCJ Visitation Changes (the jump from the TDCJ Hompage is currently not active).
While I appreciate that some of these things will make visitation easier for a lot of people, particularly the inclusion of nephews and nieces in the "close relative" catagory for contact visits, there are other things that make it much more difficult for those travelling a long way for visitation - not just from overseas, but anywhere more than 300 miles away.
The item that affects me the most is the new requirement for the visitor ID to have an address that matches the TDCJ records for that person. For the past 8 years, my passport has been adequate ID but that does not contain my address details. I do not drive, so I do not have a European driving licence. I would offer a utility bill, as that is usually accepted here in the UK as proof of address, but as TDCJ do not permit those overseas to register for the inmate phone service it would seem unlikely that a bill would be accepted for anything else. One would think that my flight details might also be proof that I do indeed still live all the way over here and will be returning after the visit, but I don't hold out much hope of that either - considering most TDCJ staff I have known over the years admit to having never been out of the state let alone out of the country and look at my passport as something wierd and unknown, expecting them to understand what a flight print out is is probably pushing things too far.
The only way over this particular hurdle appears to be for me to get a provisional driving licence, at the £50 fee (pushing the cost overall of this visit over the £1000 mark). The DirectGov website says the licence is issued within one week - I hope so because I fly out in 4 weeks time and TDCJ gave no warning that the rules would be changing like this.
I know TDCJ are not there for my convenience. But there does appear to be a consistent level of general ignorance about anything that happens outside of Texas when it comes to making any rules at all. It is also starting to appear as xenophobia when you look at the following:
There is a question about what items would make visiting with children easier, but the way it is worded you can only respond to that if you actually have children. As anyone who visits TDCJ units knows, when children are in the visit room it affects everyone else there, so why should I not also be able to say that providing colouring pencils and paper would be a good idea?
Question 10 says: Do you communicate with the offender by letter, email (JPay) or phone before a visit?
The answer options are:
Finally, the last field on the survey asks for suggestions on how the unit can make visitation more enjoyable. I started typing my response, but the character limit is only around 200 - not nearly enough to mention the things I would like to, such as maybe sometimes using the outside seating at my husband's unit which has never been used in the 8 years he has been there. The staff at the unit are usually polite and efficient, even when their equipment doesn't work properly, and I have no issue with them at all. It's the TDCJ Administration that appear to be bunkered down in Austin and Huntsville like a bunch or Preppers, desperate to keep everyone out and everyone in, both at the same time.
And to top it all, when I hit the "submit" button, I get an error message. I have emailed the webservice team about all of this, but you know, I'm not Texan, so I'm not holding out for a response any time soon.
"Intense or irrational dislike or fear of people from other countries:"
By chance this week I have learned of the changes that TDCJ have made to the procedures for visitation across all units effective from 1 March 2014. The full document can be found here TDCJ Visitation Changes (the jump from the TDCJ Hompage is currently not active).
While I appreciate that some of these things will make visitation easier for a lot of people, particularly the inclusion of nephews and nieces in the "close relative" catagory for contact visits, there are other things that make it much more difficult for those travelling a long way for visitation - not just from overseas, but anywhere more than 300 miles away.
The item that affects me the most is the new requirement for the visitor ID to have an address that matches the TDCJ records for that person. For the past 8 years, my passport has been adequate ID but that does not contain my address details. I do not drive, so I do not have a European driving licence. I would offer a utility bill, as that is usually accepted here in the UK as proof of address, but as TDCJ do not permit those overseas to register for the inmate phone service it would seem unlikely that a bill would be accepted for anything else. One would think that my flight details might also be proof that I do indeed still live all the way over here and will be returning after the visit, but I don't hold out much hope of that either - considering most TDCJ staff I have known over the years admit to having never been out of the state let alone out of the country and look at my passport as something wierd and unknown, expecting them to understand what a flight print out is is probably pushing things too far.
The only way over this particular hurdle appears to be for me to get a provisional driving licence, at the £50 fee (pushing the cost overall of this visit over the £1000 mark). The DirectGov website says the licence is issued within one week - I hope so because I fly out in 4 weeks time and TDCJ gave no warning that the rules would be changing like this.
I know TDCJ are not there for my convenience. But there does appear to be a consistent level of general ignorance about anything that happens outside of Texas when it comes to making any rules at all. It is also starting to appear as xenophobia when you look at the following:
- International postage stamps are not available through commisarry at many units, meaning inmates must use 3 inland stamps and pay more than is required for the service
- Inmates are not permitted to call friends and family overseas, and those people living overseas (meaning, outside of the USA, excluding Alaska and Hawaii) are not permitted to registered their phone for the Inmate Telephone Service
- Visitors must obtain photo ID with a current address included - something that is not required in many other countries including Britain.
- Every weekend
- More than twice per month
- Once per month
- When I am able to but not on a consistent basis
There is a question about what items would make visiting with children easier, but the way it is worded you can only respond to that if you actually have children. As anyone who visits TDCJ units knows, when children are in the visit room it affects everyone else there, so why should I not also be able to say that providing colouring pencils and paper would be a good idea?
Question 10 says: Do you communicate with the offender by letter, email (JPay) or phone before a visit?
The answer options are:
- Always
- Sometimes
- Never
Finally, the last field on the survey asks for suggestions on how the unit can make visitation more enjoyable. I started typing my response, but the character limit is only around 200 - not nearly enough to mention the things I would like to, such as maybe sometimes using the outside seating at my husband's unit which has never been used in the 8 years he has been there. The staff at the unit are usually polite and efficient, even when their equipment doesn't work properly, and I have no issue with them at all. It's the TDCJ Administration that appear to be bunkered down in Austin and Huntsville like a bunch or Preppers, desperate to keep everyone out and everyone in, both at the same time.
And to top it all, when I hit the "submit" button, I get an error message. I have emailed the webservice team about all of this, but you know, I'm not Texan, so I'm not holding out for a response any time soon.
Saturday, 7 December 2013
Anniversary
A few days ago, Hubby and I celebrated 7 years of marriage. We celebrated separately of course; we've only spent one anniversary together in all of those years.
We have two anniversaries each year. Our wedding anniversary in December and also our "first contact" anniversary in June. That marks the day that we first knew each other, the day we first talked. Hubby always places more importance on that one than I do, possibly because he has been married before and I haven't.
When I read others' posts about their anniversaries with their husbands, fiances and boyfriends, I always think they get a bit gushing and luvvie. I'm sure that to them, their men are wonderful and everything they ever wanted in a man - except for not actually being there of course. I don't want to go down that same route with this post. Instead, I want to put down what it means to me to be a wife.
So many women go into marriage thinking about what they will gain from it. Whether it be financial or emotional or practical support, there is often a benefit to being married rather than staying single (or even staying with the guy but not being married). When you marry an inmate, it really doesn't work like that at all, especially if the inmate is in TDCJ.
If you are looking for financial help, you really should look elsewhere. TDCJ inmates are not paid for the work that they generally have to do, so you'd better make sure you can support yourself, and him (and any kids or other family you might have or acquire through marriage). I have a good full-time job which is enough to cover our expenses; he hates it that I send him money each month, but if I didn't he wouldn't be able to write to me or the rest of our family or friends.
Practical support is also, obviously, not there. I take out my own rubbish, do my own dishes, put up my own shelves and do my own laundry. Ours is a self-contained relationship in that we each take care of ourselves and not physically each other. This wouldn't work for everyone, you have to be very comfortable with your own company and resourceful, not minding if you break a nail here and there.
So what's in it for me, I hear you wondering.
At the risk of slipping into slushiness, it's the emotional support. I'm a pretty together woman, and can draw on my own reserves when I need to, but what I get out of this arrangement is someone who cares what's happening to me. Someone to discuss stuff with, and make decisions with, someone to tell about my day who is genuinely interested. Someone to share new discoveries with, someone to encourage and who encourages me in return. It's a bonus that I happen to think he is damned good looking.
I take my vows very seriously. Not the common "love, honour and obey" that you get in religious ceremonies, because we didn't have one of those. We were married by a Judge and the words she used were much more relevant to us, about being two individuals making the choice to face whatever life throws at them together. To be each other's shelter and stability. That was my promise to Hubby, that I would continue to be as I had been up to then, that I could give him consistency and stability.
The past 7 years have been..... unorthodox. Naturally there are things I would change if I could, but he isn't one of them.
We have two anniversaries each year. Our wedding anniversary in December and also our "first contact" anniversary in June. That marks the day that we first knew each other, the day we first talked. Hubby always places more importance on that one than I do, possibly because he has been married before and I haven't.
When I read others' posts about their anniversaries with their husbands, fiances and boyfriends, I always think they get a bit gushing and luvvie. I'm sure that to them, their men are wonderful and everything they ever wanted in a man - except for not actually being there of course. I don't want to go down that same route with this post. Instead, I want to put down what it means to me to be a wife.
So many women go into marriage thinking about what they will gain from it. Whether it be financial or emotional or practical support, there is often a benefit to being married rather than staying single (or even staying with the guy but not being married). When you marry an inmate, it really doesn't work like that at all, especially if the inmate is in TDCJ.
If you are looking for financial help, you really should look elsewhere. TDCJ inmates are not paid for the work that they generally have to do, so you'd better make sure you can support yourself, and him (and any kids or other family you might have or acquire through marriage). I have a good full-time job which is enough to cover our expenses; he hates it that I send him money each month, but if I didn't he wouldn't be able to write to me or the rest of our family or friends.
Practical support is also, obviously, not there. I take out my own rubbish, do my own dishes, put up my own shelves and do my own laundry. Ours is a self-contained relationship in that we each take care of ourselves and not physically each other. This wouldn't work for everyone, you have to be very comfortable with your own company and resourceful, not minding if you break a nail here and there.
So what's in it for me, I hear you wondering.
At the risk of slipping into slushiness, it's the emotional support. I'm a pretty together woman, and can draw on my own reserves when I need to, but what I get out of this arrangement is someone who cares what's happening to me. Someone to discuss stuff with, and make decisions with, someone to tell about my day who is genuinely interested. Someone to share new discoveries with, someone to encourage and who encourages me in return. It's a bonus that I happen to think he is damned good looking.
I take my vows very seriously. Not the common "love, honour and obey" that you get in religious ceremonies, because we didn't have one of those. We were married by a Judge and the words she used were much more relevant to us, about being two individuals making the choice to face whatever life throws at them together. To be each other's shelter and stability. That was my promise to Hubby, that I would continue to be as I had been up to then, that I could give him consistency and stability.
The past 7 years have been..... unorthodox. Naturally there are things I would change if I could, but he isn't one of them.
Saturday, 27 July 2013
From him to me
Another song he wants me to listen to. This is about as close to Country music as he dare nudge me, but as he's asking....
Sheryl Crow ~ "Easy"
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Security
Some words have both a positive and a negative connotation, and security is one of those words.
Sometimes security means a source of comfort; where or what makes you feel safe, and also the word Yes. For me, one source of security is often knitting, and on my travels in Texas last week my friend and I found a great yarn shop near to Spring called The Hen House. We'd already been into the local Hobby Lobby and I'd bought some yarn that I thought would make some pretty socks, but they didn't have any individual patterns for sale. So by word of mouth, we found The Hen House and what an Aladdin's cave it is! Not only do they have an amazing selection of traditional, specialist and novelty yarns and yarn equipment, but they also have a large stock of quilting fabric and equipment and a range of finished quilts on display. The ladies there were very friendly, and I would absolutely recommend the shop to anyone in search of yarn in Texas. In fact next time I visit, I intend to save some extra cash to spend on some of their yarns.
For other people, the word security is more related to restrictions and closely related to the word No. We experienced that kind of security this weekend when I went to visit my husband. Usually we get 2 x 4 hour contact visits - always with the proviso that if it gets crowded we may have to have the visit cut short. This time, my husband's wing had been placed on security lockdown because allegedly a gun and some bullets had been discovered. This is not a new situation at this particular unit; they have been on various lockdowns for similar reasons all through the summer this year.
However, this time it meant that not only were we not able to have our usual contact visit (which is only contact in as much as we get to hug and kiss briefly at the start and end of the visit and can hold hands across a wide table), but that my husband was not permitted to sit in the open run with the other inmates behind the glass but had to sit in a cage instead, like the inmates in Ad Seg do. No contact absolutely means no contact. We could have had photos but we chose not to, given the circumstances.
While we dealt with it as an inconvenience (albeit an upsetting one, as I can't just pop back in a week or so and get a hug and a kiss, this is it for us for the next year now), we discovered on the Sunday that some of the inmates who were supposed to be participating in the Day With Dad event on the Saturday from my husband's wing had been told at the last minute that they could not now take part. The couple next to us were one such family; the lady had 2 small children of about 2 and 3 years old, and had been told she would have to wait up to 3 hours for a regular visit instead on the Saturday. She decided to find a motel and come back for a visit on the Sunday, adding considerable expense and inconvenience to her weekend. The children were obviously used to seeing their dad in the contact area as neither understood why he couldn't open their packets of sweets for them or why they couldn't sit on his knee.
Some will say, I'm sure, that the bottom line is if the inmates had behaved in the first place then this would not be an issue. I agree to a point, but when the inmates do behave while incarcerated, and then still receive extra punishment for something that they had no part in, how is than an incentive to keep behaving correctly? And more of an issue is the punishment of innocent people like those two children and their mother. Visitation is not just about the inmate.Phone calls are not just about the inmate. TDCJ states that it works to encourage friends and family to stay in touch with the inmates, but one has to wonder just how hard it works to enable this when it comes to explaining to a 3 years old why daddy can't give them a hug this weekend.
TDCJ and many other similar organisations fall into the habit of only seeing the inmate. Peer pressure is all well and good, but when the target has not done anything wrong, it simply breeds resentment and reduces co-operation from others that are affected by the punitive measures. Inmates rarely talk to other inmates in the visit room. Inmates, even locked in single line cells, have far more opportunity to talk. The reasoning behind the severe segregation of the inmates in my husband's wing this week was, on the surface, flawed.
For those who think we should just be thankful that we were able to have any kind of visit at all, I would ask what kind of person would you prefer to return to society - one with the support of friends and family who finds work and contributes through taxes, or one with no support who very quickly returns to crime and continues to cost the state and tax payers money? Have you ever tried to spend a whole year away from your wife or husband, with no phone calls? My husband might have broken the law, but I haven't.
We did have a good visit, despite the high noise level. I also had more of a holiday this time, instead of just flying in and out either side of a weekend. And now I am back home and ready to refocus on building our own security further by buying the flat that I live in. Positive steps usually work better than negative ones.
Sometimes security means a source of comfort; where or what makes you feel safe, and also the word Yes. For me, one source of security is often knitting, and on my travels in Texas last week my friend and I found a great yarn shop near to Spring called The Hen House. We'd already been into the local Hobby Lobby and I'd bought some yarn that I thought would make some pretty socks, but they didn't have any individual patterns for sale. So by word of mouth, we found The Hen House and what an Aladdin's cave it is! Not only do they have an amazing selection of traditional, specialist and novelty yarns and yarn equipment, but they also have a large stock of quilting fabric and equipment and a range of finished quilts on display. The ladies there were very friendly, and I would absolutely recommend the shop to anyone in search of yarn in Texas. In fact next time I visit, I intend to save some extra cash to spend on some of their yarns.
For other people, the word security is more related to restrictions and closely related to the word No. We experienced that kind of security this weekend when I went to visit my husband. Usually we get 2 x 4 hour contact visits - always with the proviso that if it gets crowded we may have to have the visit cut short. This time, my husband's wing had been placed on security lockdown because allegedly a gun and some bullets had been discovered. This is not a new situation at this particular unit; they have been on various lockdowns for similar reasons all through the summer this year.
However, this time it meant that not only were we not able to have our usual contact visit (which is only contact in as much as we get to hug and kiss briefly at the start and end of the visit and can hold hands across a wide table), but that my husband was not permitted to sit in the open run with the other inmates behind the glass but had to sit in a cage instead, like the inmates in Ad Seg do. No contact absolutely means no contact. We could have had photos but we chose not to, given the circumstances.
While we dealt with it as an inconvenience (albeit an upsetting one, as I can't just pop back in a week or so and get a hug and a kiss, this is it for us for the next year now), we discovered on the Sunday that some of the inmates who were supposed to be participating in the Day With Dad event on the Saturday from my husband's wing had been told at the last minute that they could not now take part. The couple next to us were one such family; the lady had 2 small children of about 2 and 3 years old, and had been told she would have to wait up to 3 hours for a regular visit instead on the Saturday. She decided to find a motel and come back for a visit on the Sunday, adding considerable expense and inconvenience to her weekend. The children were obviously used to seeing their dad in the contact area as neither understood why he couldn't open their packets of sweets for them or why they couldn't sit on his knee.
Some will say, I'm sure, that the bottom line is if the inmates had behaved in the first place then this would not be an issue. I agree to a point, but when the inmates do behave while incarcerated, and then still receive extra punishment for something that they had no part in, how is than an incentive to keep behaving correctly? And more of an issue is the punishment of innocent people like those two children and their mother. Visitation is not just about the inmate.Phone calls are not just about the inmate. TDCJ states that it works to encourage friends and family to stay in touch with the inmates, but one has to wonder just how hard it works to enable this when it comes to explaining to a 3 years old why daddy can't give them a hug this weekend.
TDCJ and many other similar organisations fall into the habit of only seeing the inmate. Peer pressure is all well and good, but when the target has not done anything wrong, it simply breeds resentment and reduces co-operation from others that are affected by the punitive measures. Inmates rarely talk to other inmates in the visit room. Inmates, even locked in single line cells, have far more opportunity to talk. The reasoning behind the severe segregation of the inmates in my husband's wing this week was, on the surface, flawed.
For those who think we should just be thankful that we were able to have any kind of visit at all, I would ask what kind of person would you prefer to return to society - one with the support of friends and family who finds work and contributes through taxes, or one with no support who very quickly returns to crime and continues to cost the state and tax payers money? Have you ever tried to spend a whole year away from your wife or husband, with no phone calls? My husband might have broken the law, but I haven't.
We did have a good visit, despite the high noise level. I also had more of a holiday this time, instead of just flying in and out either side of a weekend. And now I am back home and ready to refocus on building our own security further by buying the flat that I live in. Positive steps usually work better than negative ones.
Sunday, 28 October 2012
On the road again
Well in a day or so anyway. Today I'm doing the last minute laundry and checking of flight details etc before I head out over the the Atlantic (hopefully avoiding Hurricane Sandy!) and down to Texas to see my husband.
I found myself wondering earlier, just how many other people do this. I say people, although I guess the vast majority are female, though surely there are at least one or two guys who write to American female inmates and make the journey to see them occasionally. I doubt there is any way to officially count the numbers entering the USA to visit penpals and husbands/boyfriends/fiances each year, simply because most would not give that as their reason for entering the USA. I answer the border guards' questions as and when they are asked, I don't generally volunteer any unrequested information. I stay with an English friend while I'm over there who has been there for 30+ years, and once a border guard did ask me why I would want to go to the small town my friend lives in. I told him that is where she lives, and I could tell he thought I was crazy just for that. I can imagine his opinion if I'd told him that 2 days later we'd be driving up to Palestine to visit my husband in prison. That's why I, and many people I know who do this, don't mention visiting prisons when we travel. It's really not worth the hostility and condescension you receive.
But still I wonder how many people from Europe, Canada and even Australia make this journey each year - and some, multiple times a year. This will be my 10th or 11th visit, I'm not really counting. Each time I'm there, I spend around $500, which isn't much really as I don't treat it like a holiday. Might not sound like much going into the American economy just by myself, but what if there are thousands of people doing the same thing - and spending considerably more than I do - each year.
It is interesting to note the difference in attitudes at the moment between President Obama and Mitt Romney when it comes to all things foreign. Mr Romney says that to be effective overseas, America must be strong at home. That's a very insular view, as if we over here care much in general about how America is at home. We just want to be sure that America isn't dragging the world into yet another war it can't win and has no business financing or facilitating. Mr Romney didn't make a good impression when he recently visited Europe and the Middle East. Someone should remind him that you don't make friends by insulting people or insinuating that you're better than they are.
By contrast, Europe seemed to enjoy President Obama's visit a couple of years ago, particularly his Irish "relatives" the O'Bamas. That was pure genius. It doesn't matter what his political leanings are, or his social policy or even his foreign policy, what Obama has that Romney doesn't is an understanding of people. He doesn't talk down them, he doesn't take a paternal stance and speak as though he knows what's best for us if we would only listen in some Victorianesque tone voice and painted smile. But he can be decisive, and he leads quietly. Maybe Americans would rather have a noisy blusterous individual who stumbles over malapropisms and unimportant things like the truth, and leaves a trail of destruction in their wake. If they do, I'll be leaving America with Mr Romney in charge. And if that happens, it might just get even harder for me to return, because I'm sure I'm not the kind of person he wants hanging out on his turf, even if I am spending my money there for a while.
I found myself wondering earlier, just how many other people do this. I say people, although I guess the vast majority are female, though surely there are at least one or two guys who write to American female inmates and make the journey to see them occasionally. I doubt there is any way to officially count the numbers entering the USA to visit penpals and husbands/boyfriends/fiances each year, simply because most would not give that as their reason for entering the USA. I answer the border guards' questions as and when they are asked, I don't generally volunteer any unrequested information. I stay with an English friend while I'm over there who has been there for 30+ years, and once a border guard did ask me why I would want to go to the small town my friend lives in. I told him that is where she lives, and I could tell he thought I was crazy just for that. I can imagine his opinion if I'd told him that 2 days later we'd be driving up to Palestine to visit my husband in prison. That's why I, and many people I know who do this, don't mention visiting prisons when we travel. It's really not worth the hostility and condescension you receive.
But still I wonder how many people from Europe, Canada and even Australia make this journey each year - and some, multiple times a year. This will be my 10th or 11th visit, I'm not really counting. Each time I'm there, I spend around $500, which isn't much really as I don't treat it like a holiday. Might not sound like much going into the American economy just by myself, but what if there are thousands of people doing the same thing - and spending considerably more than I do - each year.
It is interesting to note the difference in attitudes at the moment between President Obama and Mitt Romney when it comes to all things foreign. Mr Romney says that to be effective overseas, America must be strong at home. That's a very insular view, as if we over here care much in general about how America is at home. We just want to be sure that America isn't dragging the world into yet another war it can't win and has no business financing or facilitating. Mr Romney didn't make a good impression when he recently visited Europe and the Middle East. Someone should remind him that you don't make friends by insulting people or insinuating that you're better than they are.
By contrast, Europe seemed to enjoy President Obama's visit a couple of years ago, particularly his Irish "relatives" the O'Bamas. That was pure genius. It doesn't matter what his political leanings are, or his social policy or even his foreign policy, what Obama has that Romney doesn't is an understanding of people. He doesn't talk down them, he doesn't take a paternal stance and speak as though he knows what's best for us if we would only listen in some Victorianesque tone voice and painted smile. But he can be decisive, and he leads quietly. Maybe Americans would rather have a noisy blusterous individual who stumbles over malapropisms and unimportant things like the truth, and leaves a trail of destruction in their wake. If they do, I'll be leaving America with Mr Romney in charge. And if that happens, it might just get even harder for me to return, because I'm sure I'm not the kind of person he wants hanging out on his turf, even if I am spending my money there for a while.
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Song of the moment
The Gaslight Anthem "Handwritten"
Just has the most appropriate word right now. Enjoy!
Just has the most appropriate word right now. Enjoy!
Saturday, 11 August 2012
Just marking time
As I've said before, I don't want this to be "just another inmate-wife blog". That's why I don't blog about the minute details of what we deal with on our journey, and why I throw in my handcrafts and other stuff now and again. I'm more than just an inmate's wife, just as hubby is more than an inmate or defined solely by his crime. We're individuals who just happen to be in this situation together at the moment.
But some things keep rearing their ugly heads time and again, and right now it's the phone situation. It's funny sometimes when I find myself explaining it to someone else, as I did this morning to a good friend, and I find a justification or partial explanation in what I'm saying as I say it that I had not fully comprehended before. In case you didn't already know, TDCJ inmates had a phone system installed around 2 years ago, but there are strict conditions of use, the main ones being:
Inmates can only call those who are
This means that a TDCJ inmate can chatter away to their heart's content with a US penpal they have never met and possibly have only exchanged a couple of letters with over the course of a few weeks, yet I cannot talk to my husband at all under any circumstances except if I can get there for a visit, when we have been married for almost 6 years and I knew him before his crime. Tell me how this is fair.
But what I was explaining to my friend earlier is that TDCJ are not discriminating against hubby. He can use the phone system just like any of the other inmates in general population can. The issue is, I am discriminated against because of where I live. He has registered, has recorded his voice, is in general population and not Ad Seg or on Death Row, so in the eyes of TDCJ and the Texas legislators I am the one in the wrong because I live in the wrong place. And why should they care? They have provided what TIFA and other advocate groups asked for; a phone service.
We've dealt with it for the past 7 years since he moved from county jail into TDCJ and we'll continue to deal with it, but sometimes things happen that would be much simpler to deal with by spending just a few minutes of real-time talking. Right now, his mum is dying, and there are things we need to discuss and work out, but we have to do it through letters that take around 10 days to cross the ocean. Tell me how this is fair.
No, tell the Texas legislators that it is NOT fair. Please.
But some things keep rearing their ugly heads time and again, and right now it's the phone situation. It's funny sometimes when I find myself explaining it to someone else, as I did this morning to a good friend, and I find a justification or partial explanation in what I'm saying as I say it that I had not fully comprehended before. In case you didn't already know, TDCJ inmates had a phone system installed around 2 years ago, but there are strict conditions of use, the main ones being:
Inmates can only call those who are
- on their visit list
- registered with the phone company and have a landline in their name
- resident in the USA (excluding Alaska and Hawaii)
This means that a TDCJ inmate can chatter away to their heart's content with a US penpal they have never met and possibly have only exchanged a couple of letters with over the course of a few weeks, yet I cannot talk to my husband at all under any circumstances except if I can get there for a visit, when we have been married for almost 6 years and I knew him before his crime. Tell me how this is fair.
But what I was explaining to my friend earlier is that TDCJ are not discriminating against hubby. He can use the phone system just like any of the other inmates in general population can. The issue is, I am discriminated against because of where I live. He has registered, has recorded his voice, is in general population and not Ad Seg or on Death Row, so in the eyes of TDCJ and the Texas legislators I am the one in the wrong because I live in the wrong place. And why should they care? They have provided what TIFA and other advocate groups asked for; a phone service.
We've dealt with it for the past 7 years since he moved from county jail into TDCJ and we'll continue to deal with it, but sometimes things happen that would be much simpler to deal with by spending just a few minutes of real-time talking. Right now, his mum is dying, and there are things we need to discuss and work out, but we have to do it through letters that take around 10 days to cross the ocean. Tell me how this is fair.
No, tell the Texas legislators that it is NOT fair. Please.
Saturday, 9 June 2012
Tieing holes together
Which actually might have made a better name for the Ravelry group I've started!
That's what this post is about. I've been a member of Ravelry for a while, it's a knitting and crochet resource website with about 1 million members worldwide, and a fabulous place for inspiration, patterns, materials, and general yarn-related chatter. There are a couple of prison-ish groups there, but nothing specifically for those with incarcerated loved ones. Until now :)
The group is called Ladies in Waiting drop in if you fancy a space where you can talk about your ups and downs, with prisons or yarn crafts.
That's what this post is about. I've been a member of Ravelry for a while, it's a knitting and crochet resource website with about 1 million members worldwide, and a fabulous place for inspiration, patterns, materials, and general yarn-related chatter. There are a couple of prison-ish groups there, but nothing specifically for those with incarcerated loved ones. Until now :)
The group is called Ladies in Waiting drop in if you fancy a space where you can talk about your ups and downs, with prisons or yarn crafts.
Saturday, 26 May 2012
Can't stand the heat?
Last year, a guy that my husband knew at his unit died of heat-related complications. The guy had been at the psychiatric unit for a couple of years and had just returned to general population; he was sent straight out to work in the fields in 100 degree heat and died after a few days of working. He was in his 50s.
Texas had a particularly long hot summer last year, and rumours were rife of other heat-related deaths occuring, although TDCJ never publically confirmed any of these. There are plenty of things that can be put as cause of death without implicating a system that puts inmates outside to work in such heat or keeps them in glass and/or metal boxes with little ventilation. This year, it would seem that TDCJ is practicing something quite rare - forward thinking.
My husband has a bottom bunk restriction because of a hernia he had a couple of years ago, and since March he has been on the bottom tier in his wing. I noticed he had been moved last weekend when I sent him a Jpay email (inmates cannot reply by email, but they can receive printed copies of the text and it's a lot faster than traditional letters through the post when you have something important to say) and I now know why. They needed his bunk for a heat-restriction inmate. Those with that classification are housed whenever possible on the lower 2 tiers (there are 4 tiers to each wing where my husband is), to minimise the amount of stair climbing they have to do. It also helps to keep similar inmates together in one place, and it appears that quite a few guys are being moved around to achieve this.
So now he is back on a third tier, but this time almost as far from the dayroom as he could be. This is good for someone who likes relative peace and quiet when he is reading and writing! His new cellie appears to be a good match as well; another older guy who has been at the unit for the majority of his time. Unfortunately with every move or change, my husband enters a period of self-reflection and self-loathing that can mean he stops writing while he works his way through it.
As we don't have a visit firmly planned for anytime soon, I just have to hope my own well of self-reliance and determination doesn't run dry this summer.
Texas had a particularly long hot summer last year, and rumours were rife of other heat-related deaths occuring, although TDCJ never publically confirmed any of these. There are plenty of things that can be put as cause of death without implicating a system that puts inmates outside to work in such heat or keeps them in glass and/or metal boxes with little ventilation. This year, it would seem that TDCJ is practicing something quite rare - forward thinking.
My husband has a bottom bunk restriction because of a hernia he had a couple of years ago, and since March he has been on the bottom tier in his wing. I noticed he had been moved last weekend when I sent him a Jpay email (inmates cannot reply by email, but they can receive printed copies of the text and it's a lot faster than traditional letters through the post when you have something important to say) and I now know why. They needed his bunk for a heat-restriction inmate. Those with that classification are housed whenever possible on the lower 2 tiers (there are 4 tiers to each wing where my husband is), to minimise the amount of stair climbing they have to do. It also helps to keep similar inmates together in one place, and it appears that quite a few guys are being moved around to achieve this.
So now he is back on a third tier, but this time almost as far from the dayroom as he could be. This is good for someone who likes relative peace and quiet when he is reading and writing! His new cellie appears to be a good match as well; another older guy who has been at the unit for the majority of his time. Unfortunately with every move or change, my husband enters a period of self-reflection and self-loathing that can mean he stops writing while he works his way through it.
As we don't have a visit firmly planned for anytime soon, I just have to hope my own well of self-reliance and determination doesn't run dry this summer.
Friday, 23 March 2012
more dolls and more movement
Two things to blog about today, especially as it's been a good couple of weeks since the last post. First I'd like to introduce my newest pair of dolls, Abney and Teal:
Second, the fall-out from my husband's momentary lack of judgement continues. On Sunday I thought I would start a letter to him using the Jpay email service, and when I hit the preview button I noticed that his housing assignment had changed.
This is something we had expected, but even so it was a surprise and not a welcome one. It means he has been moved from minimum security to medium security, and makes it more likely that he will have to turn out for hoe squad. And no, that has nothing to do with hookers.
So I've been waiting all week to hear from him, and as is often the case, the letter that did arrive today was written the day before he moved cells. It's a very wierd concept, living 2 weeks behind yourself all the time. And people wonder why I may get a little testy sometimes when I read forum posts from people who haven't had their morning/daily/hourly email fix from their penpal and O-M-G could it be that their penpal doesn't want to speak to them anymore or perhaps the penpal is laying in a pool of blood taking his (it is invariably a he) last breath.
As mother would say, some people don't know they're born.
These two have been a real labour of love! They are the characters from a Cbeebies animated show of the same name, and have been made for a friend's 2 year old daughter. You can see some episodes of the show here and decide for yourself how well I've matched them to the characters. I did have to make a couple of changes, to accommodate a 2 year old's fingers and temper in being able to dress and undress the dolls! I'm especially pleased with Teal's hair and her sneakers.
Second, the fall-out from my husband's momentary lack of judgement continues. On Sunday I thought I would start a letter to him using the Jpay email service, and when I hit the preview button I noticed that his housing assignment had changed.
This is something we had expected, but even so it was a surprise and not a welcome one. It means he has been moved from minimum security to medium security, and makes it more likely that he will have to turn out for hoe squad. And no, that has nothing to do with hookers.
So I've been waiting all week to hear from him, and as is often the case, the letter that did arrive today was written the day before he moved cells. It's a very wierd concept, living 2 weeks behind yourself all the time. And people wonder why I may get a little testy sometimes when I read forum posts from people who haven't had their morning/daily/hourly email fix from their penpal and O-M-G could it be that their penpal doesn't want to speak to them anymore or perhaps the penpal is laying in a pool of blood taking his (it is invariably a he) last breath.
As mother would say, some people don't know they're born.
Sunday, 4 March 2012
This is why TDCJ needs to allow international phone calls by inmates
The best example of a real situation has occurred to illustrate the stupidity and missed opportunity of TDCJ and the Texas Legislature in not permitting inmates to make international calls via the new phone system. Inmates are permitted only to call those on their visitation lists who have a registered USA land-line with the phone company (excluding Hawaii and Alaska). And for those thinking that Skype would circumvent this issue, it wont. You have to provide proof of residency that matches the landline number.
There was a riot at my husband's unit last Thursday.
Normally I wouldn't be too concerned, because it is a big place and often he is nowhere near where the trouble is. I just wait for the letter with the details which usually takes between 10-14 days to get here. But this time, the circumstances are different:
The confrontation happened when the field crew were returning to the chow hall. I currently don't know if my husband has been given his old job back on food service (which would put him in the chow hall when the disturbance occurred) or if he is still assigned to the field squad and had to go out to work (which would put him in the chow hall when the disturbance occurred), or even if he is still not being called to work at all and just went for his lunch as usual (which would put him in the chow hall when the disturbance occurred). So whatever his assignment, the chances are high that he was there.
I've been told there were several officers and inmates involved, an officer has a broken jaw and injured hand (and I'm sad for them that they had to deal with it) and that tear gas / pepper spray was used. The unit was put on temporary lockdown, which was later lifted for all excluding the wing where the field crew are housed.
I am pretty sure that once the lockdown ended, many inmates got on the phones and were telling their loved ones that they were OK. Those whose loved ones live in the USA anyway. My husband doesn't have anyone to call because none of the family over there have a land-line in their name - like so many Americans and a growing number of Europeans. So he can't even call someone and ask them to pass a message on to me that he is OK. He fulfills all the inmate-related requirements for calls, such as not being in Ad Seg.
So I have to wait for around 2 weeks before I hear anything from him, even if he mails something out that very night. How is this fair on me, when others can receive calls? I'm not asking for special treatment, just equity with other friends and family of TDCJ inmates who are no better or worse individuals than I am.
There was a riot at my husband's unit last Thursday.
Normally I wouldn't be too concerned, because it is a big place and often he is nowhere near where the trouble is. I just wait for the letter with the details which usually takes between 10-14 days to get here. But this time, the circumstances are different:
The confrontation happened when the field crew were returning to the chow hall. I currently don't know if my husband has been given his old job back on food service (which would put him in the chow hall when the disturbance occurred) or if he is still assigned to the field squad and had to go out to work (which would put him in the chow hall when the disturbance occurred), or even if he is still not being called to work at all and just went for his lunch as usual (which would put him in the chow hall when the disturbance occurred). So whatever his assignment, the chances are high that he was there.
I've been told there were several officers and inmates involved, an officer has a broken jaw and injured hand (and I'm sad for them that they had to deal with it) and that tear gas / pepper spray was used. The unit was put on temporary lockdown, which was later lifted for all excluding the wing where the field crew are housed.
I am pretty sure that once the lockdown ended, many inmates got on the phones and were telling their loved ones that they were OK. Those whose loved ones live in the USA anyway. My husband doesn't have anyone to call because none of the family over there have a land-line in their name - like so many Americans and a growing number of Europeans. So he can't even call someone and ask them to pass a message on to me that he is OK. He fulfills all the inmate-related requirements for calls, such as not being in Ad Seg.
So I have to wait for around 2 weeks before I hear anything from him, even if he mails something out that very night. How is this fair on me, when others can receive calls? I'm not asking for special treatment, just equity with other friends and family of TDCJ inmates who are no better or worse individuals than I am.
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Not Public Property
There are a lot of stereotypes that go with prison; the bully guard, the cruel warden, the flirty nurse/teacher/librarian, the tough convict, the wimpy convict, and of course the inmate's wife. How do stereotypes become? In most cases, it is because there are indeed a very small number of people who do act/look/behave in such a way that is extreme. And because these are extreme cases, people tend to talk about them, and so the myth evolves into a stereotype that most people recognise and many people actually thinks is the real thing.
There was the first episode of a new drama on BBC 1 last night, called "Prison Wives". It's not a documentary, it uses fictional characters and a fictional prison, but it portrays the lives of an assortment of women whose husbands are locked up in the UK. I really was in two minds whether to watch it, and saw the first three or four minutes after the credits started before I turned it off. But the tiny bit that I did see, made me think it would be a good drama, probably addressing some of the issues that British inmate wives face in a sensitive and unsensationaistic way. Of course it is entertainment, but the BBC often has a way of commissioning dramas like this that handle topics in a far more grown-up way than many so-called "documentary" makers do.
One of the reasons I decided not to watch the programme was that I'd had enough of prison for one day. I don't do my husband's time for him, and I don't feel obliged to make it the centre of my universe in the way that it is for him. While I have an interest in prison issues and I like murder-mysteries, that doesn't mean it is the only thing that interests me.
When I got home from work last night there was a message in my inbox on one of the prison forums I inhabit, from a woman from Associated Press UK, asking me if I would like to take part in a film about "women who fall in love with inmates". Most of the time, I just delete messages like that, especially when there is a specific section on that particular forum where the media can post their requests for guinea pigs. Last night though, it really rubbed me the wrong way.
It is one thing to post a general request for all to see, but quite another to invade my inbox with a request, especially when they have obviously not taken the time to read what is publicly available about me and my husband. If they had done so, they would know that I did not fall in love with an inmate, I fell in love with a free man who then went on to comit a crime and is now an inmate. Not the same thing at all. They would also know, if they chose to find out, that I also write to several other inmates across America - why don't they want to know about friendships with inmates? Why don't they want to talk to me about two of my pals who have both spent time on Death Row (in different states) and who are now in general population serving life sentences?
But what really got me was the old ploy of "your chance to tell your story". Am I expected to bite their hand off and cry "Of course I'd love to take part in something that would lead to so much ridicule and pity being sent my way, and may damage my chances of moving to the US or my husband's chances of parole at a later date". It would not be our chance to tell our story; it would be us being used to illustrate whatever whimsical slant the producer wanted to put on their own perceptions of what life is like for "someone like me".
I came to the conclusion several years ago that there is no way to show on film this life that my husband and I have without the majority of people either thinking we are sad, mad or bad. The minute you start to try and explain, it makes you sound desperate or dillusional, even to those who may not immediately think poorly of you. I even find myself thinking how daft I sound sometimes, so I can imagine what others must think. I decided that film is not the medium to use if I want to give a positive portrayal, at least, not someone elses' film.
I write this blog because I know there are people out there who face a similar situation to us, with the hope that they can find information and maybe a little solidarity here. I am open and honest with the people I meet face to face about where my husband is and why, but I don't parade around town with a banner to make a statement about it. I don't eat, sleep and think prison 24/7 and I have absolutely no intention of doing so.
If anyone is going to make a film or write a book or play about us, it will be us. We're not some Victorian freak show that you can amuse yourself with, and frankly we don't fit into the stereotype that the media seem desperate to show anyway. We're just two people making the best of a bad situation together.
If you want juicy scandal, try the Lohans or Hiltons of this world.
There was the first episode of a new drama on BBC 1 last night, called "Prison Wives". It's not a documentary, it uses fictional characters and a fictional prison, but it portrays the lives of an assortment of women whose husbands are locked up in the UK. I really was in two minds whether to watch it, and saw the first three or four minutes after the credits started before I turned it off. But the tiny bit that I did see, made me think it would be a good drama, probably addressing some of the issues that British inmate wives face in a sensitive and unsensationaistic way. Of course it is entertainment, but the BBC often has a way of commissioning dramas like this that handle topics in a far more grown-up way than many so-called "documentary" makers do.
One of the reasons I decided not to watch the programme was that I'd had enough of prison for one day. I don't do my husband's time for him, and I don't feel obliged to make it the centre of my universe in the way that it is for him. While I have an interest in prison issues and I like murder-mysteries, that doesn't mean it is the only thing that interests me.
When I got home from work last night there was a message in my inbox on one of the prison forums I inhabit, from a woman from Associated Press UK, asking me if I would like to take part in a film about "women who fall in love with inmates". Most of the time, I just delete messages like that, especially when there is a specific section on that particular forum where the media can post their requests for guinea pigs. Last night though, it really rubbed me the wrong way.
It is one thing to post a general request for all to see, but quite another to invade my inbox with a request, especially when they have obviously not taken the time to read what is publicly available about me and my husband. If they had done so, they would know that I did not fall in love with an inmate, I fell in love with a free man who then went on to comit a crime and is now an inmate. Not the same thing at all. They would also know, if they chose to find out, that I also write to several other inmates across America - why don't they want to know about friendships with inmates? Why don't they want to talk to me about two of my pals who have both spent time on Death Row (in different states) and who are now in general population serving life sentences?
But what really got me was the old ploy of "your chance to tell your story". Am I expected to bite their hand off and cry "Of course I'd love to take part in something that would lead to so much ridicule and pity being sent my way, and may damage my chances of moving to the US or my husband's chances of parole at a later date". It would not be our chance to tell our story; it would be us being used to illustrate whatever whimsical slant the producer wanted to put on their own perceptions of what life is like for "someone like me".
I came to the conclusion several years ago that there is no way to show on film this life that my husband and I have without the majority of people either thinking we are sad, mad or bad. The minute you start to try and explain, it makes you sound desperate or dillusional, even to those who may not immediately think poorly of you. I even find myself thinking how daft I sound sometimes, so I can imagine what others must think. I decided that film is not the medium to use if I want to give a positive portrayal, at least, not someone elses' film.
I write this blog because I know there are people out there who face a similar situation to us, with the hope that they can find information and maybe a little solidarity here. I am open and honest with the people I meet face to face about where my husband is and why, but I don't parade around town with a banner to make a statement about it. I don't eat, sleep and think prison 24/7 and I have absolutely no intention of doing so.
If anyone is going to make a film or write a book or play about us, it will be us. We're not some Victorian freak show that you can amuse yourself with, and frankly we don't fit into the stereotype that the media seem desperate to show anyway. We're just two people making the best of a bad situation together.
If you want juicy scandal, try the Lohans or Hiltons of this world.
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