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Sunday, 21 June 2015


Father's Day and Mother's Day are not things my family does. And now that I have neither a mum or a dad still living, they are events that I am completely detached from. But I've been thinking about my dad this week, and trying to tease out things that I learned from him, directly or indirectly.

The first thing was very definitely, follow your heart. Because he wasn't able to. My dad wanted to play football and work on boats. But his knee was dodgy so the playing of football was short-lived, and my Grandad decided that working on boats was not a suitable career and insisted that dad did his apprenticeship on cars and lorries instead. I wouldn't say that dad hated it, because an engine is an engine, regardless of it's wrapper, but dad wanted to be on and around the water, not in a garage in a town. The apprenticeship was a good thing, and lead to mum and dad being able to get their first mortgage too as dad's employer was also their referee, but it wasn't in his heart.

The next thing is, you are good enough. This I probably learned more directly from my mum, but indirectly through dad's own self-depreciation and long-term depression. Trying to sell a house while the owner is pointing out all the things they haven't yet fixed or even started isn't easy. Allowing someone else to form an opinion of you as you stand, warts and all isn't easy. But it brings with it a sense of achievement, that they want the house, or you, for what is there.

Finally, say yes more than you say no. Or not yet. Or I can't. The more you say no, the more you paint yourself into a corner. Saying yes is a stepping stone on to something else. Of course, you should be careful of what you are saying yes to, but if it doesn't hurt anyone and you can afford it, and more importantly if it takes you out of your "normal" expreiences, try a yes more often. You might only get that opportunity once.

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